Appeals Court: Foster Parents Can Share Religious Truth with Children

Michael and Jennifer Lasche say that a state agency — New Jersey’s Division of Child Protection and Permanency — removed their foster child and suspended their foster license in 2018 because of their “religious beliefs”. In essence the social workers are of the opinion that people who are Christians, like almost 1.5 billion others on the planet, cannot be foster parents. However, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 3rd Circuit recently ruled in favor of the Christian couple. The man and his wife simply wanted legal protection to welcome foster children into their home without hiding their religion. Michael and Jennifer Lasche revealed that New Jersey’s Division of Child Protection and “Permanency” — removed their foster child and suspended their foster license in 2018 because of their religion. The man and wife, who have served as foster parents for more than a decade, sued state officials for infringing on their right to religious freedom. It is pleasing to see the court affirms that Mr. And Mrs. Lasche can continue to practice their fundamental right to pray and attend church services as guaranteed by the Constitution of te United States. The government cannot punish the Lasches — or any other American —simply because it disagrees with Christian practice that has been taught for the past 2,000 years. The involved attorney pointed out that Michael and Jennifer are wonderful foster parents, and the children entrusted to their care over the last 10 years thrive under their loving care. And even though the foster child wanted to be a part of the couple’s religious life, the state sought to punish them for their Christian faith. The Lasches are grateful for the opportunity to continue to challenge action by the state. As it is wrong for government employed social workers to exclude families from fostering because of their Christian belief. That’s not keeping childfren first. “If the government can exclude qualified families like theirs today, especially after serving children in foster care for more than 10 years, it can exclude other qualified families for other reasons tomorrow,” he added. “When this case returns to the district court, the Lasches will finally have a chance to show that peacefully sharing their religious views was constitutionally protected.” Background In 2017, Michael and Jennifer Lasche agreed to foster two sisters, ages 13 and 10, after the Monmouth County Office of the New Jersey Division of Child Placement and Permanency (DCPP) contacted them. Later that year, a caseworker, Kyle Higgins, told them that they were under consideration to adopt the girls. Three weeks passed, and the Lasches learned that a couple in Illinois also wanted to adopt the sisters, in addition to their three younger siblings also in foster care. That couple, the Lasches later discovered, was “two wealthy gay men.” At that point, Higgins questioned the 13-year-old “about whether she would change her religious beliefs about homosexual conduct — which she held before meeting the Lasches — if she were placed with another family,” the opinion from the appeals court reads. A few months later, both the DCPP and the Lasche family agreed that the 10 year old should be removed from her current home, for reasons that remain confidential. The 13-year-old stayed. Then, the men in Illinois decided against adopting the siblings. After a hearing about the children’s future, in June 2018, “inquiries about the Lasches’ religious beliefs intensified.” The 13-year-old, after one therapy session, appeared “visibly upset” because “the therapist repeatedly brought up religion and told her not to feel pressured to follow the Lasches’ religious beliefs.” Higgins and an unidentified woman also questioned the teenager about her religious beliefs. “Although Higgins told Foster Child 1 that the Lasches could not ‘meet her needs,’ that did not dissuade Foster Child 1 from wanting to remain with the Lasches,” the opinion describes. At a June 2018 meeting that the Lasche family attended, DCPP employees “agreed that the Lasches’ religious beliefs were a problem.” These employees “sought assurance from the Lasches that they would not reject Foster Child 1 if she ever decided to explore her sexuality,” the opinion continues. “One representative remarked that Foster Child 1 would need therapy to deal with her belief that homosexual conduct is a sin.” In early July 2018, the 13-year-old, whom Michael and Jennifer had hoped to adopt, was removed from the Lasches’ home — even though her appointed attorney objected. The DCPP pursued the teenager’s removal without providing the Lasches with a statutorily required notice. Three months later, during the foster-parent license renewal process, the Lasche family discovered that the DCPP had suspended their license, without notice or explanation. Ruling Judge Peter Phipps, joined by Judges Thomas Hardiman and Robert Cowen, wrote the March 1 opinion by the appeals court. The decision allows the Lasche family to continue their case by returning to the lower court. The appellate judges affirmed the lower court’s finding in part, and vacated it in part. At the same time, the court ruled, the Lasche family’s religious beliefs are constitutionally protected. “Through the Free Exercise Clause, the First Amendment secures the ‘freedom to believe and [the] freedom to act,’’' the opinion reads. “Consistent with that protection, the Lasches allege two forms of constitutionally protected activity – one involving religious belief, and the other, action inspired by religious belief.” “With respect to belief, the Lasches identify their religious opposition to same-sex marriage as constitutionally protected,” the opinion continues. “That is correct: the Free Exercise Clause provides an absolute right to hold religious beliefs.” Citing high-profile Supreme Court cases concerning religious liberty (Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission and Fulton v. Philadelphia), the opinion also states that the Lasches “plausibly allege that they engaged in constitutionally protected conduct by sharing their religious views on same-sex marriage.”

FATHERS ARE NECESSARY FOR SONS AND DAUGHTERS

I.         The rise of feminism brought about a demotion of fatherhood

            A.        In an attempt to prove the worth of woman, many felt the need to “prove” that men were worthless

                        1.         We see the impact in society.

                        2.         How many television shows show a well-meaning but bungling dad whom mom and the kids have to steer him way from dangers?

                        3.         How many women are not bothering getting married, though they have children anyway?

            B.        The Bible, unlike today’s society, sees men and women as being equally essential, while fulfilling separate roles - Galatians 3:28

            C.        One of the roles of a father is providing instruction to his children in the training and admonition of the Lord - Ephesians 6:4

                        1.         In other words, husbands and fathers are supposed to be a source of wisdom for the family

                        2.         Quite a tall order if you think about it.

II.        What is wisdom?

            A.        All Christians need wisdom - Ephesians 5:15-17

                        1.         We have little time and we live in a dangerous world

                        2.         We need wisdom to make the best use of our time here on earth

                        3.         That wisdom is found in the will of the Lord

            B.        The Bible is able to equip us - II Timothy 3:16-17

            C.        Thus, wisdom comes from God, along with knowledge and understanding - Proverbs 2:6-9

            D.        Proverbs 24:3-4 - Using a house to illustrate

                        1.         Knowledge is the comprehension of facts. It fills our minds with pleasant and useful things

                        2.         Understanding is the reasoning of relationships. Logic becomes the foundation on which we stand.

                        3.         Wisdom is the application of our learning. It is how we put it all together.

            E.        “Wisdom is insight into the underlying causes and significance or consequence of things, which insight enables one to apply to the best end the knowledge which he has.” [Homer Hailey]

            F.        In other words, knowledge tells you what is happening, understanding allows to you to predict what might result and what are your options, but it is wisdom that guides to select the best response.

III.       Where to get wisdom

            A.        Most often people gain some measure of wisdom through experience

                        1.         They try one thing or another. Some of it works, but a lot of it fails.

                        2.         We make note of it and try again the next time with, hopefully, better results

                        3.         Of course, all this is time consuming.

                                    a.         That is why we associate wisdom with older people - Proverbs 20:29

                        4.         It is also hit-and-miss. We don’t experience everything as we live, so we are often caught off guard when facing something new.

                        5.         And, of course, not everyone survives their mistakes!

            B.        You can learn wisdom from wise men - Proverbs 13:20

                        1.         Instead of personally making mistakes, you learn from others, thus you can avoid wasting years of repeating what others already knew

                        2.         It is best to listen so you can be wise when you get older - Proverbs 19:20

                        3.         By avoiding mistakes, you don’t have to carry the consequences with you through life.

                        4.         Here then is the responsibility of a father: to pass his accumulated wisdom down to his children

            C.        If you want wisdom, ask God - James 1:5

                        1.         It is what Solomon asked of God - I Kings 3:5-14

                        2.         It is what he received - I Kings 4:29-34

            D.        The book of Proverbs is the writing of Solomon to pass wisdom on to succeeding generations - Proverbs 1:1-3

                        1.         It is able give prudence to the simple - Proverbs 1:4

                                    a.         Children and some adults are uncomplicated in their thoughts

                                                (1)       They act on impulse with little consideration

                                                (2)       They are noted for rash decisions with unintended consequences because they didn’t even stop to think about the consequences.

                                    b.         Prudence is the opposite of rashness, and wisdom gives prudence.

                        2.         It is able to give knowledge and discretion to the young

                                    a.         Even without a long life, the book of Proverbs can supply a host of facts

                                    b.         And it gives plans (choices) for what to do in various situations

                        3.         Even man already wise can benefit by increasing what he knows - Proverbs 1:5-6

                                    a.         None of us know everything or experienced everything

                                    b.         Even a wise man benefits from learning better choices

                        4.         A man of understanding, a smart man who can put two and two together can also benefit

                                    a.         From the wise advice stored in the book

                                    b.         Understand subtle statements and puzzles in life

                        5.         Proverbs is a divinely inspired writing of God given through the hands of the wisest man on earth expressed in short sentences regarding life.

IV.      Though offered, wisdom is not always accepted

            A.        Fools despise wisdom and understanding - Proverbs 1:7

                        1.         Fools because they refuse to see the value in them

                        2.         Fools because they remain ignorant

                        3.         Fools because they have condemned themselves to making a lot of mistakes

            B.        Children have the opportunity to learn wisdom from their parents - Proverbs 1:8-9

                        1.         They will make you a better person

                        2.         Passed down from generation to generation - Proverbs 4:1-13

                        3.         They are protection - Proverbs 6:20-23

V.        Are you listening to your father?

            A.        Have you learned the lessons of life that your father has taught you?

            B.        If you are a father, are you prepared to pass them down to your children?

            C.        But you know, each of our fathers did the best that they could, but they made mistakes - Hebrews 12:9

                        1.         But we don’t have to repeat the mistakes, for we have a heavenly Father who has passed down His wisdom to us as well

                        2.         Learn from Him and pass it on to your children

            D.        Fathers are necessary.

THE ETERNAL VALUE OF THE MARRIED COUPLE

My wife and I were divorced. Then my son started hanging out with a local family 

 

The most riveting, wise, and helpful statement I have heard in recent years was shared by Ifeyinwa Awagu of Lagos, Nigeria, in a video:

The couple is the locus, it’s a starting point, but it’s a ripple . . . Whatever I do in my marriage, the circle keeps increasing, keeps widening, until it covers the whole world. Marriage is beyond us. It’s about the society. It is your own project for the world.

Ify’s statement is pure gold, displaying immense truth and gravitas. To illustrate why, I begin with this example from my own life.
While my wife and I were still divorced, our younger son, Chris, would occasionally spend the weekend at the home of his middle school friend, Ray. When he arrived back home, he wouldn’t say anything in particular, but I could read his body language and perceive what was left unsaid. I didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to understand that Chris really liked spending time at Ray’s house, and the reason was clear: he loved their family life.
All I had to do was look into Chris’s eyes to see that he wished he had a family like theirs—a family with a gregarious, big-hearted, and affectionate Mom and Dad who clearly loved each other. I knew that this was precisely what I had deprived Chris and his brother of.

Through my own marriage—with all the mistakes and detours—my wife and I have created something that is irrevocable and unmovable. What we began at the altar in 1985 in front of our families, guests, and God can’t be undone.

It was this very loving marriage that first caused me to wonder if I had made a huge mistake in divorcing my wife and breaking our family apart. And after each of Chris’s subsequent visits with Ray’s family, I became more convinced of my grave error. I knew that I needed to repair what I had broken. Yet Chris never made a single direct statement about this. He never said why he enjoyed spending time with their family or explicitly compared it with ours. Although I don’t know if he could have articulated it if he had tried, I received the message loud and clear. Eventually, I realized that I had no choice but to find a way to bring our family back together.
Meanwhile, Ray’s family simply carried on life as usual. They had never made an attempt to address our family situation; they just simply lived their lives as faithful Catholics and as faithful loving spouses to each other. They had never spoken a word of judgment, encouragement, or advice to me, and I had never once said a word to them about my broken marriage. In fact, at that stage we barely knew each other except to say “Hi” at our sons’ football games. Our lives touched only through our sons, yet that was enough.
This family had no idea how much good they were doing for me and my broken family just by the way they were living their lives. Somehow, their Catholic faith, their joy, their love, and their faithfulness overflowed and cascaded into my life via my son.
Were it not for this family, I’m not sure I would ever have had that first thought implanted in my mind about bringing our family back together. Although I was completely irreligious at the time, it seems to me that this was God’s gentle way of getting me to see that I had erred and needed to do something about it. God didn’t send somebody to club me over the head or rebuke me. Instead, He brought me into indirect contact—into the distant outer orbit—of a couple whose lives deeply, quietly touched mine. I am one of the beneficiaries of the ripples emanating out from their loving marriage.
When I finally had lunch with Ray’s parents a few years later and thanked them for what they had done, they were completely taken by surprise. They had no inkling of the important role they had played in our lives.
Yet the ripples of their faithful marriage continue to expand. Not only have my wife and I been back together for nearly six years, I also returned to full communion with the Catholic Church after a nearly twenty-year absence.
None of us can truly gauge the impact of our lives on others. Yet, even without your knowing it, the witness displayed by your faithful marriage might be the lighthouse that guides and helps others to hold their marriage and family together. You could be saving a family from the destructive influence of the world. You could be leading someone to the threshold of faith, and you may never even hear about it.

Your Marriage: Ground Zero for Astounding Good

You probably have no clue of the enormous good you do by cherishing your marriage, your spouse, and your family, and by simply living your life as a faithful Christian. Your personal relationship and commitment to Christ reverberates all around you, sending out ripples that affect the lives of others in unseen and unexpected ways.
This kind of impact is extremely personal and therefore difficult to quantify or measure. Yet legitimate social science seems to bear out the point I am making. As Kay Hymowitz has observed, children “have a better chance at thriving when their own father lives with them and their mother throughout their childhood—and for boys, this is especially the case.” She continues:

A highly publicized recent study by the Equality of Opportunity Project comparing social mobility by region found that areas with high proportions of single-parent families have less mobility—including for kids whose parents are married. The reverse also held: areas with a high proportion of married-couple families improve the lot of all children. In fact, a community’s dominant family structure was the strongest predictor of mobility—bigger than race or education levels. This research suggests that having plenty of married fathers around creates cultural capital that helps every member of the Little League team.[emphasis mine]

In a miraculous manner, the blessings and benefit of intact families spills out of their homes and into surrounding households. I’m not a social scientist, but history, observation, and common sense all support Ify Awagu’s statement: “Whatever I do in my marriage, the circle keeps increasing, keeps widening, until it covers the whole world.”

Upholding the Dignity of Your Spouse

Marriage is bigger and more important than either husband or wife alone. Perhaps that more easily resonates as true for couples with kids, but it is just as true whether children are present or not. While marriage has been under attack throughout human history, beginning in the Garden of Eden, in recent decades it has suffered catastrophic blows thanks to the ongoing sexual revolution, a revolution that has produced countless casualties.
Through my own marriage—with all the mistakes and detours—my wife and I have created something that is irrevocable and unmovable. What we began at the altar in 1985 in front of our families, guests, and God can’t be undone. Two became one, and an entirely new entity came to being in the universe. Not a metaphoric creation, but a reality. A wonderful, utterly unique new alloy was forged. It can be ignored or abused, but those choices don’t undo the mandate that fell into our laps that hot July afternoon nearly thirty-two years ago. When my time on this planet has reached its end, my marriage will have been the single most important contribution I will have made.
There is never a good reason not to uphold your spouse’s dignity—in front of the kids, in front of friends and family, in private conversations with your spouse, and even in your own mind where nobody else can see or hear. Belittling, cold-shouldering, name-calling, and tearing down or undermining your spouse’s dignity in any way is always destructive and never helpful, demonstrating an absence of unconditional love. Even negative humor is far from harmless. It’s not funny; it’s a visceral personal attack on your spouse’s dignity.
In my marriage, we’ve had to deal with my same-sex attraction, family histories of addictive behavior, financial difficulties, major health issues, and much more. Sadly, a combination of those things once led to our separation and divorce, for which I take full responsibility. But, in the end, good has outweighed bad, and human dignity and love have slowly and steadily triumphed over animosity and isolation.
How do you heal a relationship that self-destructed, which had lost its moorings for more than a decade? I have no easy answer, but I do know that the first step is this: you must choose to recognize the importance and irrevocability of your covenanted relationship and to uphold the dignity of your spouse and your relationship every day, no matter what, repenting when necessary.
Since reconciling (and that’s too weak a term—it has really been a complete change of heart and a hard-fought renewal of our minds), we have continued to face both big and small challenges, one after another. Rather than allowing them to tear us apart or let our relationship fray at the edges, to give up or to say “this is too hard for me,” my wife has upheld my dignity as husband and father, and I have upheld hers as wife and mother.
My wife’s love for me, especially during the darkest times when I’ve been at my most weak and vulnerable, has been a direct conduit of God’s love to me. In fact, the greater the personal challenges I have faced, the more she has honored me with dignity and respect. There is a miraculous, inverse relationship between the weight of difficulties and weaknesses present and the degree of dignity accorded. It’s counterintuitive. It’s the opposite of the way things work in the world, but it’s a reflection of God’s unconditional love. Upholding each other’s dignity allows grace to flow into and lift our marriage day after challenging day.

So What?

For every objection or fear, worry, regret, or apprehension I can come up with, I’ve taught myself this two-word response: “So what?” Our marriage is more important than any reservation I encounter.

- I’m unhappy. So what?

- I’m same-sex attracted. So what?

- I’m disappointed. So what?

- We’re having financial difficulties. So what?

- We’ve become incompatible. So what?

- We’ve gotten older and gained weight. So what?

- My spouse has developed bad habits. So what?

- I didn’t bargain for these medical or psychological problems. So what?

- I’ve met someone I like better. So what?

Here’s what I say: “I can handle that, and I do so with pleasure. We can address and overcome these problems. We’ll navigate difficult waters together, even if it falls upon me to do all the paddling and steering while plugging all the newly sprung holes in the hull.”
Instead of fretting or wistfully daydreaming about something that might have been better, realize this: there is no better option, because you have no greater, more important mission.
If it weren’t for the presence of dark times, I don’t think godly, unconditional love and dignity would have ever had a chance to take root and grow between my wife and me. Personal experience has taught me that the Church truly is a field hospital within our own home. That makes sense, because the domestic church is right up on the front lines where battles can be treacherous, and where wounds, both old and newly inflicted, can often present themselves. If willing, spouses can serve as medics. The very best medics.
Don’t be caught by surprise, don’t despair, don’t give up, and don’t be afraid. Instead, resolve with all your might to hang on to your life’s greatest mission and treasure. Even if it feels like a daily burden, it remains a pearl of great price. Ify is right: “Marriage is beyond us. It’s about the society. It is your own project for the world.”
Ify first spoke these words in Lagos, Nigeria: “Whatever I do in my marriage, the circle keeps increasing, keeps widening, until it covers the whole world.” I first heard her words in Rome, Italy, and they have continued to have enormous influence on me and my family here in the United States. I owe a debt of gratitude not only to Ray’s parents, whom I now count as friends, but to Ify and her husband, Chidi. We have never met, but their marriage has touched my life in a profound way.
Marriage is the big project that I have chosen for myself and it’s the big mission that I’ve been charged with. We have solemnly created our marriage, God has solemnly blessed it, and now we must solemnly live it. It is our project for the world